Let The Breaking Begin....

This photo found on Google shows an image similar to what I saw. 

A few weeks before my family and I left Rwanda, I was sitting on our porch inside our big compound on a sunny beautiful morning. I hadn't slept well the night before. My sleep was full of nightmares which were constantly interrupted by chaos and screaming outside. I was happy that the morning had came.

I quietly stared at the ladder that lay against the compound wall. If I climbed that ladder, I would see for myself what the chaos overnight was about. I would have a view of the street. My parents had forbidden us from climbing the ladder but the curious 8 year old I was would not let me. I wanted to know what was outside the protection of our compound wall.

I quickly scanned my surroundings to make sure no one was watching and decided to climb the ladder. One step at a time, I climbed with my anticipation rising the higher I got. I finally made it to the top of the ladder and FROZE!

I couldn't believe what I saw. The street was filled with blood and dead bodies. Some machetes that were used to butcher my fellow citizens were still laying on the ground. I saw the body of a neighbor,  the head was in a ditch and the rest of the body was in the street. Some of these bodies must have been there for quiet sometime because the stench was unbearable.

Why did I go up the ladder? Why didn't I listen to my parents? How am I supposed to get this horrible image out of my head? Why is this happening? What is going on? Where is God? WHY?? These were some of the questions that were running in my mind as my tiny body trembled while slowly descending the ladder in tears. No one was to know that I went up the ladder, I would be in big trouble. I sat down at the same spot I was sitting before I forever scarred my innocence and just stared at nothing. I felt like a zombie. My life had forever changed. The breaking had slowly began...